My roommate barged in on my bath last night, complete with candles and music, to show me the $250 pair of shoes she bought herself that day. It was the first time she had ever spent that kind of money on a singular purchase, and the exquisite glee still showed through her radiant smile. “I’ve never done that before! It felt so good!” she exclaimed, as her hands rubbed her arms unconsciously needing to affirm the exquisite warmth and pleasure she felt inside. I smiled back at her feeling myself how glorious it is to love the body through these simple and frivolous gifts of self-gratitude.
Perhaps we can’t always buy expensive shoes, but it got me thinking at how far that purchase will go for her compared to a $50 pair of shoes. Every time we invest in ourselves, the dividends prove themselves time and again. We can’t often see the direct impact on our world, but the shift is still significant.
I think of the way she will feel every time she wears them–even to how she might take extra care doing her hair and makeup and dressing herself before she goes out. I know she will walk differently, her steps more deliberate and self-assured. How might that affect her interactions? How much more will she smile at people? How much more will she subconsciously encourage compliments, thereby furthering her blossoming self-esteem? And how much more will she notice beautiful shoes and want to compliment them? I bet she will.
Giving to ourselves and receiving from others may be one of the most difficult things we learn how do. It may be why we tend to criticize others who are so good at it. Damn it, but we wish we could have it too! We want designer jeans and purses to match every outfit and to have the sommelier be impressed with our wine selection. It just doesn’t seem fair that some people get all the cool stuff.
My friend learned something so powerful yesterday. You don’t have to have a closet full of expensive clothing; it starts with one truly awesome pair of knockout heels. Or perhaps it starts with a perfectly drawn bath complete with bath salts, bubble bath, candles, a glass of red wine, dark chocolate, some soft classical music, a sexy book and a waterproof toy. The point is that self care is vital to our existence. It simply has to put you in a feel-good mood that spreads and makes you want to care for others. That energy then comes back to you… ten fold? Let’s hope. That’s a lot of people! I’m not sure they’ll all fit in my tub, but I’m willing to try.